Dating over 40 is a completely different ballgame. At this age, most people have matured into the people they are going to be and are set in their ways. Yes I said it. Set in their ways. Dating is just getting to know someone while they are getting to know you. There is not always an instant chemistry but it should always be a pleasant experience. After having several roundtable conversations with my single male and female friends, we all have the same basic gripes. Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you are dating a mature adult. Let’s get to it.

1. Inability To Communicate– At this phase in dating, conversation is a welcomed art form. It takes more than one person to converse. What you put into the conversation is what you will get out of it. If it’s something that you don’t feel like discussing, tastefully change the subject and keep the conversation going. Most people communicate one of two ways. You have your texter and your talker. Find a way to incorporate both of your communication styles if they are different. If a person texts, how are you doing, and you send them back a smiley face, you probably won’t get a call back. It is not that hard to type I’m great. Emojis are a great added expression but not a way to answer a question. At this point in life you should be able to articulate your feelings and thoughts. Remember, it’s the job of both parties to keep things interesting and entertaining. So do your best to keep the communication going.

2. Don’t Be Indecisive – If you ask someone out and are unsure of what they like; just ask. Take some direction from what they are saying and plan something. No one wants to plan their own dates, that’s what hanging out with your friends is for. Don’t ask a bunch of, would you like to do this or that type of questions. Just plan something and even if it’s something they don’t want to do, they will be appreciative of the thought and effort behind it. If you are unsure, plan something for a short amount of time and leave the rest to where the date takes you. It’s okay NOT to have everything figured out but have some basic ideas of how you want the date to go.

3. Trust The Process-Everyone moves at their own pace. Go into the dating experience with an open mind. If your date wants to give you a few details, like how to dress or there will be walking, just prepare for that and let the rest be a surprise. They may be surprising you with something you have mentioned to them that you want to do. Coming into the date being apprehensive could ruin their surprise and possibly yours as well. After all, if a person makes you feel that uneasy why are you out with them in the first place? Keep your mind open to new experiences. They may stumble upon something that you will really enjoy in the end.

4. Be Honest About Your Expectations– If you are not interested in being in a relationship DON’T date someone who wants a relationship. Express your likes and dislikes. Try understanding what a person means. Two people can have two totally different ideas of the same thing. My idea of chivalry and my dates idea of being a man were the exact same thing. Always be truthful about what you want and stick to what makes you happy. Instead of always dating according to age, try dating within your maturity level or the phase of life you are currently in, so at least you both will be somewhat on the same page.

5. Limited Attention Span-Focus on your date. Give them your undivided attention as much as possible. Everyone has something going on in their lives that requires their attention. However, you both agreed that at this date and time, you will be each others focus. Unless it is an EMERGENCY stay off your phone. If you have to respond to something make it quick, apologize and put the phone away. No one wants to battle with Facebook or Instagram for your attention.

Dating is just that dating, it may not end in marriage but you might gain another great friend. Remember to mind your mannners and be open to the possibilities. Happy Dating😊.

Thank you for reading. Until next time TonShay Theresa.

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